I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
