at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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