i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Randomize
