I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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