Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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