She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
