i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
