is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
