On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
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