I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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