there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
