As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
