Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
