Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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