You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
