i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
