That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
