I look better un-naked...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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