It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
