im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
