Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
