i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She bit a glass in half.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
