lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
