fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
