well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize