I'm gonna have a badass scar
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
His nipple licking is glorious
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