I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
