the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
