we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
