I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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