sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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