i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
