I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
