Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
