It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
