**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
