is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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