It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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