I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
