You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
