I want to have your abortion
I just cut my nipple shaving
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize