i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
