Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize