cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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