sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
