i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
