Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Please don't give away my fajitas
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I party with great urgency now.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
