I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
