Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
