ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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