we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
