I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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