I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
