i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
