I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The beer is more important than you right now.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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