In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
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He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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