He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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